Lesbian and loud

Why seeing lesbians represented so boldly in music feels revolutionary.

For so long the word ‘lesbian’ felt heavy in my mouth. Any time someone would ask me about my sexuality it never rolled off my tongue and disappeared into the air the way I wished it would. Instead, it would fall hard onto floor the and stain the surface. Every time I would try, there was a lump in my throat, and half of the word would get stuck on it’s way out.

I think, sadly, representation is so key in this. Growing up with very few openly lesbian, iconic figures to relate to, whilst homophobia was simultaneously rife, it felt near impossible to explore what that term might mean to me. I didn’t have models of women who said the word freely, proudly, casually. I didn’t hear songs where women loved women in ways that felt familiar, tender, or joyfully unapologetic.

Sure, I could listen to songs where men would sing or rap about women with the usual overtones of misogyny and attempt to relate, but it always felt like translating from a language that wasn’t mine.

That’s why this lesbian boom in music means so much more than just finally being represented. It’s feeling seen, heard, and reflected back to myself in ways I never knew I needed. It’s hearing desire expressed in a voice that sounds like mine. It’s recognising my own experiences. Awkward, tender, electric, painful. Through lyrics that don’t require translation.

I am no longer observing a world from the outside, I am in it.

Whilst sitting at my desk, headphones on full volume, blasting KWN, Kehlani, Sasha Keable, Ambre, or any sapphic anthem, it’s more than just listening to music. I am tuning into a part of myself that had to be tucked away for so long. Listening to this music allows me to exist in a moment where loving women at full volume doesn’t need an explanation.

It’s a space where my desire doesn’t have to shrink itself to fit anyone else’s comfort, where the word lesbian feels light in my mouth.

It might sound dramatic, but unless you know what that feels like, it’s hard to translate. And more than anything, it’s really fucking cool to see lesbians be so unapologetically themselves. It’s joy without apology, expression without compromise, and representation that finally feels expansive instead of limiting.